I once saw a boy
sitting alone on a park bench
with tears streaming down his face.
When I asked if he was okay,
he slowly wiped his eyes and lied,
I once saw a girl
standing in front of a bathroom mirror,
her face battered and bruised.
When I asked her if she was alright,
her shaking hands reapplied her concealer while she quietly replied,
I once saw a friend
lying in a hospital bed
his face pale and his eyes dim.
When I pleaded that he let me help him
he absently reached up to touch the bandages wrapped from ear to ear
and choked out,
You once saw a girl
with tired eyes and a broken soul
wiping the blood from her wrists.
When you took her face into your hands and begged her to let you in
I looked you right in the eyes and whispered two godforsaken words.
It hurts to want you so much,
to know that I can never have you.
Not because you don’t want me,
but because I don’t want me.
And everyone knows that “loving yourself” is step one.
But then again,
i’ve never been very good at following directions.
And if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying, despite everyone that told you to quit. You built a cast around your broken heart, and signed it yourself. You signed, "they were wrong".
Sometimes I look at blogs that have stop posting and I wonder what happened to them. I wonder if maybe they have finally done what they’ve always said they were going to do one day…if they’ve ended it. And I wonder how many of those lives, ended prematurely, go unnoticed.
To whom it may concern, I send you what little feelings of peace and comfort I have left in my heart. Though most of all, I send you reverent feelings of respect. Respect for the knowledge that you fought as long as you did, or that you even fought at all.
I’m not certain of what comes after this life has been brought to a close, but I hope that wherever your tired souls may have traveled to, that you have finally found your happiness.